I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
