I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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