At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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