My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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