He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Randomize
