420 ftw
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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