What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
