as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
someone owes me an orgasm
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
