Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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