I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
