hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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