I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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