I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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