wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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