Define "chronic" masturbator.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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