roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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