Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
