ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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