just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Randomize
