Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
did i walk over a car last night?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
