The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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