whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
