they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
