she woke up with a sticky ear
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
