You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
