Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
