the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
