It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
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