My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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