Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Boobs are out for the taking
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
