Who wears a wallet chain?!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
