i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
