If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
