Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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