If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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