She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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