Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
