There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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