Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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