two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
