I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
