omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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