What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
