I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Couch. On fire.
I'm bleeding and have questions
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
