We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
