can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
