I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
