I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
