Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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