Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
