so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
