Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
